


Roy's Adventures in The World of College

by DarcyIncarnate



Category: Digitalia’s Digital Wonderland
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Crack, Fifi goes the fuck to sleep, Five Plus One Things, Gen, How Do I Tag, I'm not posting at midnight YOU ARE, Roy adults, Roy pulls a Roy, actully i might be safe this time shes not in it, anyone show this to Kae and i will eat your first born child, do not trust my ability to write, dumpsterfire ngl, editing whos she, existential crisis eyyyy, i mean it you fuckers, i sorry adel ily, i was gonna edit actully but fifi is an impacient fuck and said to post it now so yeeet, im lookin at you michan seriously dont u fuckin dare, moral of the story is dont trust stairs, mostly - Freeform, oh yee everyones aged into college except wolf who graduated, same abt rider, straight crack, suffer motherfuckers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-06
Updated: 2019-12-06
Packaged: 2021-02-26 15:21:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21690319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarcyIncarnate/pseuds/DarcyIncarnate
Summary: Five times Roy succeeds at Adulting, and one time she has her friends to give her a little boost.(Alternately, in which Adel has an existential crisis, Fifi sleeps, and other things that don't happen in real life happen)
Relationships: Asstolfo/sleep, Roy & Adel, Roy & Asstolfo, Roy & Darcy, Roy & Everyone, Roy & Ron, Roy & Wolf, Roy & a not very friendly staircase, Roy/A not very friendly staircase
Comments: 4
Kudos: 4
Collections: Digitalta’s Fics





	Roy's Adventures in The World of College

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Rouelle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rouelle/gifts).



> for the record i dont know how yet but this is fifi's fault

For the most part, Roy was a pretty level headed person. Yeah, she got kind of invested in fictional characters and had a bad habit of collecting random bruises, and maybe occasionally would admit to skipping meals one too many times, but it was extraordinarily hard to rattle her. She took what life gave her in stride, and she was, for the most part, pretty rational. An adult. but, with this in mind, and despite what some may have assumed, Roy, was not, in fact, always the perfect role model some chose to see her as. But she did damn well try.

-

"What are you doing,"

Roy stared, her glare piercing as she eyed the handcuffs that Ron had locking their arms behind their back. Slowly, Ron turned to face her.

"Uh, getting water?" They smiled sheepishly. Roy pinched the bridge of her nose. It was a Monday, couldn't Ron at least wait till the week had aged into something tolerable? Alas, trouble never ceased to follow the absent-minded sweetheart around, it seemed.

"You're handcuffed, Ron," They winced. Roy genuinely wished that this was a surprising predicament to find Ron in. The way that they seemed to forget thinking was a thing they were capable of completely astounded her at times.

"They're? Bracelets?" Roy was honestly not paid enough for this. Deciding not to dwell on the situation a moment longer, she pulled a water bottle out of the pocket of her bag and opened it. 

"Here, drink." Ron gratefully did so. "Good, come here a second," Without waiting for a response, she proceeded to drag Ron exactly two doors to the right, before knocking sharply. Surely Adel could handle this. 

After knocking again, a bit louder, and finally hearing some sort of annoyed sound from within the room, Roy decided that her work was done there, and set out to finish getting ready to leave. She had an exam that day, (Just her luck) and she was absolutely determined not to be late just because of a little thing like one of her friends being handcuffed and showing up outside her room at 6:30 in the morning with absolutely no explanation except for the vague excuse of bracelets that wouldn't be convincing to a house plant.

And with the final, foreboding feeling that she would regret her desition to trust Ron with themself alone for the five minutes it would take Adel to get ready enough to answer the door, Roy set out.

Mondays had a habit of being interesting like that.

She was only halfway to her building before her phone rang.

The caller ID was Adel.

-

Adel stared at the ceiling, her eyes blank and unseeing as she calmly stroked Roxy from where the cat had decided to sprawl herself on her stomach.

"I'm graduating college soon," Roxy shifted to face Roy where she was perched precariously on the edge of Adel's small bed. her soft grey fur blended into the covers, Roy noted absentmindedly. She carded her hand through Adel's loose hair.

"I know, Adel," Roxy's eyes peered into Roy's. 'Fix my human!' they demanded. Roy glared back at her accusatory gaze. It wasn't as if Adulthood was her fault.

"I'm gonna be an actual adult with responsibilities soon," Adel continued stroking Roxy.

"I know, Adel," Roy stood up from the cramped bed, stretching out her back before ultimately heading to the fridge. There was nothing like some good old ice cream to help out with an existential crisis and the realization that you could never go back to your childhood.

Ah, well. College be like that sometimes.

-

Roy went to bed almost every day at the same time, a respectable 10 pm, and rose at a debatably less respectable 6:30 in the morning. ('There are just things you don't do, Roy,' Darcy exclaimed vehemently. 'This is right up there with you biting your ice cream or when you eat pizza with a fork!')

But, just like every other college student in existence, there was such a thing as an exception to this rule. And it came in the form that every student instinctually knew to dread.

Finals.

That was the one time a year Roy would shove away from her schedule, and stay up to ungodly hours in order to pass her classes.

And it was during one such time, that she happened to find Ass doing the same thing. Or at least that was what she had initially believed when she found the freshman staring blankly at the ceiling in the middle of the communal kitchen.

-

"Hey, you good down there?" She asked gently. 

"Hfghff," Well at least she was alive. Roy went about the small kitchen, pulling two cups from the large cupboard and placing them down on the counter before moving to the fridge.

"Ass, why don't you go sit down at the table for a second, I'll be right there," 

Ass grunted again on the floor, shifting slightly. That was about as good of a sign as any, Roy decided, stepping over her. Now to hope that no one had made the mistake of touching her food.

-

Within a little under ten minutes, Roy found herself facing Ass at the counter, a cup of hot cocoa and some cookies in front of them.

"You struggling with studying?" She asked, taking a delicate sip of her drink.

"Jus' really tired," Ass slurred, her vision unfocused. Roy sighed.

Ass had always had a bad habit of not sleeping at night, something that came in handy when late nights became necessary for finals. The real issue with this bad habit was really just the fact that she never knew what was too far.

"You're gonna finish your hot chocolate, and then your gonna sleep, got it?" Ass mumbled in protest. For a moment, Roy just glared, hoping the stern look would be enough to demand compliance and disguise the fact that she didn't have a backup plan.

"I gotta finish the passage first," Ass's eyes continued to periodically shift closed, before snapping up suddenly almost as if the action was made to emphasize how unlikely it would be for her to be able to finish reading anything. It was quite the miracle that she was awake at all in the condition that she seemed to be in.

While contemplating the sheer power of Ass's raw will power and stupidity combined, a brain cell slapped Roy right in the face.

"How about I read it to you?" Roy grinned at Ass not rejecting the idea. "Here, you drink your hot chocolate and eat a cookie or two, and I'll read the passage to you so it can be over faster!" And so you can fall asleep because Advanced World History has got to be the most boring class in the history of existence, Roy didn't say.

With Ass's exhausted blinking glaze as an answer, Roy pulled the textbook away from her and began to read from the last annotated page.

"In 1913, John Lockheart discovered-"

In the ten minutes, it took to get to the end of the first page, ( One that Ass had already read, in fact), both she and Roy were fast asleep, hot chocolate mugs and cookies completely forgotten that dark cool night, along with all the worries and stress that Finals had brought upon them.

-

When Wolf half sprinted into the cafe they had agreed to meet at and wordlessly held out her child, Roy, being the good friend she was, took her without hesitation. 

Two hours later, with her dorm room completely trashed and glitter coating her in places that glitter should really never go, she genuinely couldn't find it in her to regret her decision.

-

Darcy, being the child she was, had a very bad habit of skipping meals and other things related to her health. Seeing as she was two years younger than all the other freshmen, Roy did have to admit perhaps that could be excused as understandable.

It could be excused if she had spent that time actually studying or doing something somewhat productive. Unfortunately, the day Darcy studied like a normal student was the day that the world ended, apparently.

So when Roy entered her room holding a bowl of mac and cheese in one hand, she had a pretty good idea of what she would see. Darcy reading fanfiction, writing something, bingeing a show, hell, after she walked in on her with the bonfire, she figured nothing could faze her.

And yet she was still surprised when she walked in to see Darcy highlighting and making notes on a concerningly detailed map of their building that detailed who lived where, and a few rooms and hallways that Roy was almost certainly sure didn't exist.

Darcy looked up from her map.

At least to the best of her knowledge they didn't

"Let's face it, this is not the weirdest thing you've caught me doing," She made grabby hands at the mac and cheese. Her mind flashed back to the fire playing off Darcy's features, and she had to reluctantly agree. (That didn't make this situation any less strange, though) "Is that for me? I'm starving!" She said, snatching the bowl before Roy even gets the chance to answer.

Were there secret passageways or something in their dorm?

Roy glanced around the room, noting a drywall saw and a pry bar is hastily strewn half under her bed. Slowly she began backing out of the room. 

Was Darcy _making_ secret passageways in their dorm?

She backed out a bit faster. See no evil, speak no evil, say no evil, she reminded herself.

"Just make sure you don't hurt yourself?" With that final demand(?), Roy shut the door to Darcy's room.

That kid really never would stop giving her mild heart attacks.

-

As stated earlier, Roy was often passed off as responsible. It was pretty easy to assume she was if she thought about it. She slept at a consistent time every night, and she always got okay grades. She avoided parties that were not of the board game variety and generally took pretty good care of all of the friends she had that just couldn't do it for themselves. So yeah, of course, it made sense that people would peg her as the responsible type.

It made perfect sense, but for whatever reason, Roy thought to herself as she tumbled down the staircase, she just genuinely couldn't see it.

"Shit!" She cried out, landing at the bottom of the two flights of stairs with a pained yelp. That was most definitely at least twisted. She should not try to stand on it.

She did so anyway. Letting out another howl of pain, Roy fell right back on her ass. She sighed. It would be another hour before anyone else was up to help her, so she supposed she could just resign herself to being stuck-

"Roy! Was that you?" Roy looked up the stairwell, and against all odds, she saw them. The shining faces of four of the most irresponsible idiots she had ever met.

At the top (of the _two_ staircases she had somehow managed to fall down) stood Adel, Ron, Ass, and Darcy, staring down at her crumpled form as if the world had ended instead of just the life of her very dead feeling ankle. 

Adel wasted no time rushing down the stairs, and the other three were quick to follow, just barely avoiding following her footsteps of tripping in their haste.

"She fuckin dead?" Ass cried out in alarm, most likely noting Roy's lack of response

"Oh my god we need to call an ambulance, the police, the fIRE DEPARTMENT-" Ron stumbled down the last few stairs, landing inches away from Roy.

"Guys, no, I'm _fine,"_

_"IS THAT BLOOD-"_

-

(It took almost ten minutes to explain to Ron that she had gotten a nose bleed from face planting straight on the ground, and the blood covering everything was actually hers) 

_-_

it was only after finally getting out of the ER with a notably lighter pocket to match her notably heavier (casted) foot, did Roy think to ask why in the world all of her friends were up at 6:30 in the morning.

When she asked as much later that day, their response was far from what she expected.

"Well, we were gonna make breakfast for you today," Darcy mumbled, staring down at her feet. "But you pulled a Roy and yeeted yourself down a staircase," she said sadly, genuinely disappointed at Roy's ability to Roy.

"Make me breakfast?" Roy pointedly avoided her name being used as a verb, feeling a bit more lost then she had a moment ago. Darcy always seemed to have that effect on people.

Adel gave her a look.

"Roy please, please don't tell me-"Adel started to say. Ron frowned.

"We wanted to start out your birthday on a good note, you know like, good friends?" Ron frowned a bit harder in contemplation. "Is that not a good friend thing? Should we have picked a different friend thing?"

"Birthday?" Roy's eyes widened. Oh. Oops.

Ass cackled. 

"Oh my god, she fuckin' forgot her birthday," Adel sighed, huffing at her friends' apparent lack of brain cells while Darcy and Ron stared in mock horror, before joining Ass in her rambunctious laughter at the sheepish look on Roy's face.

And as Roy balanced precariously in the center of her loud group of friends as they lost their shit over her inadequacies when it came to herself, she couldn't help but join in.

In the end, maybe she had fallen down two flights of stairs and had to go to the ER. Maybe she did have to limp to class an hour late with a sprained ankle. And maybe she never got to eat that breakfast that her idiot friends slaved over only to completely burn it the moment they heard her yell.

But when she got back from her classes later that night to find Wolf and Adel proudly presenting a homemade birthday cake with all her closest friends gathered in the common room of their shared dorm, Roy was absolutely positive in her response when she said she had a good birthday.

**Author's Note:**

> michan I MEAN IT


End file.
